Navigating Love: Patience or Waiting Game?

 I've been in a relationship with him for over a year and a half now. At times, it feels as though we aren't truly in a relationship at all. Perhaps his comfort stems from the fact that I fulfill all his requests, leading him to adopt an attitude of, "She’s going to be here regardless."

He is a man of few words, while I am quite the opposite. I don't engage in mind games; I am straightforward and transparent in my actions and intentions. I cater to his preferences and desires, but I often yearn for his reciprocation. His attention to detail and sensitivity are markedly less than mine, which leaves me feeling frustrated and inadequate when I am around him.

Intimate gestures, which I consider fundamental in a relationship, seem to be an arduous task for him. Holding hands or sharing a hug while out shopping or on a date feels natural to me, yet for him, it appears to be a significant challenge.

When I express my discontent, he makes an effort to improve. However, as time passes, he reverts to his old ways, and the cycle begins anew. Sometimes, I feel more like I am dining with a distant cousin rather than my significant other. The absence of handholding and the frequent lack of walking together, unless I make the effort to keep up, often makes me contemplate taking an Uber home!

So, what is the solution? Should I exercise more patience and allow more time for things to change? Or should I consider finding a new partner?

Despite these challenges, I do love him. It is clear that he loves me as well. He frequently tells me that his past relationships were different from ours. However, I have no interest in replicating his past experiences. We all have histories that should remain in the past as we focus on building a beautiful and healthy relationship in the present. We live in the now, not in the shadows of yesterday.

Effective communication is crucial, yet he is reticent, which leaves me in a state of perpetual uncertainty. I refuse to live a life of guessing games. Some might perceive me as “bossy” for articulating my needs and desires. However, given his insensitivity, being direct is, in my view, beneficial for both of us. I am mature enough to know what I want, and I believe that by expressing my desires, I am providing him with an opportunity to meet my needs. If our relationship ultimately fails, I can at least say we both gave it our best effort.

At present, knowing that we love each other is sufficient.

But let’s delve deeper. Why do we find ourselves in relationships where we constantly feel the need to ask for basic affection? Why do we settle for less than what we desire and deserve?

Relationships should be a source of comfort, joy, and mutual support. They should not make us question our worth or feel inadequate. When we compromise on the fundamentals like communication and affection, we compromise on our happiness and self-respect.

I’ve often wondered if my patience and understanding are virtues or if they are slowly becoming my downfall. Should patience be synonymous with silent suffering? I don’t think so.

Expressing our needs and desires in a relationship is not being demanding; it’s being honest. It’s giving the relationship a chance to grow and flourish. If we keep our feelings bottled up, resentment builds, and it poisons the relationship from within.

When I talk to him about how I feel, I’m not trying to control him. I’m trying to open a dialogue, to bridge the gap between us. I want him to understand that holding hands, hugging, and walking together are not just acts of affection; they are affirmations of our bond. They reassure me that I am cherished, that our relationship is alive and well.

Yet, it seems like he doesn’t fully grasp this. Is it because he is less sensitive? Or is it because he doesn’t see these gestures as necessary? Regardless, I believe in the power of communication. I believe in spelling out my needs, even if it means being labeled as bossy or demanding.

I am willing to give this relationship more time, but I also need to see changes. Love is a two-way street. It requires effort from both sides. I am ready to walk this path, but not alone.

For now, knowing that we love each other is enough. But love should also manifest in actions, not just words. I want a relationship that thrives on mutual respect, understanding, and affection. I want a partner who walks beside me, hand in hand, not just physically but emotionally as well.

As I navigate through these feelings, I remind myself that my happiness matters. Our relationship’s future depends on both of us working together, growing together, and being there for each other. If that doesn’t happen, I need to be strong enough to make the right decision for my well-being.

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